Birthday Countdown

I'm age conscious. Wrinkle conscious. Very much date-conscious especially at this time of the year. I can forget dates, days and time anytime but not one month before my birthday. Still have more than a month but I am starting to feel sad and depressed. Weird as it may seem, for the past 3 years celebrating my birthday has become a day I dread. I dread getting old without having done anything. Time's ticking and here I am, still the same.

I am paranoid to the extent of setting up a countdown section to remind me of my judgement day as if I'm going to be convicted of a murder. Funny that I have spent almost 30 minutes trying to find a code that will generate the countdown just so to remind me that I'm soon turning a quarter of a century. Sometimes, I wonder if I am born a masochist. I enjoy finding myself being tortured of things that I dread.

Job Description

I am a web developer working for a financial institution. When I came into this company, there is already an existing program that I need to maintain. Technically speaking, I was not the one who developed the program. I was just assigned to take care of it and fix bugs when errors occur. Part of my job is to attend to users' inquiry and explain to them why program errors occur. To be honest, I don't like the program I am handling. It has a lot of design flaws and is not easy to use at all. If I am one of the users of this program, I won't use it. Of course, I never tell the users how I really think. I always pretend it is a well designed program albeit the fact that it sucks.

I am in a serious dilemma. I am convincing people to use something I don't patronize myself. Sometimes they call me up to look for certain features that they want to have and I need to formulate a witty answer so that they will be the ones to appear ignorant and the system is just designed as it is due to specific design reason. While in reality, they have very valid questions. I need to stick to my pretentious stand that the program is good. To make this happen, I have to think of an alibi, technical and manipulative that is. If there is something I am learning a lot in this job of mine, that would be to become a complete hyprocrite. To say that I am utterly bored with my job is an understatement. No I am not only bored. I'm fed up. I'm tired of having to lie and pretend that I like this product. What a life.

Breakup

I am blogless. It's my new term for being speechless in the blog world. I have nothing noteworthy to write. I am considering reconceptualizing this blog so it wouldn't just be a ranting blog. I hope it could be more profound and intellectual so people can learn from it but I don't think that will ever happen. Hence, I am still going to write about the lamest things in my life.

I am supposed to write about this friend of mine for 16 years who broke off with me and said very hurting words to me and even cursed me last week. But I reckon that she's not worthy of my time, not even a blog entry. She's a girl with a bad heart who mistreats people and takes advantage of people's kindness. She lies to her mother all the time and uses her friends including me to cover up for her. She makes up stories to appeal to pity. I ain't going to waste my time over a rotten person like her who claims that God is by her side yet keeps on mistreating people. She cannot even accept her own mistakes. I will not waste my time worrying that somebody like her hates me. I shouldn't care coz' people like her shouldn't matter. Enough said of her. She might get too popular in motime. I don't need a religious friend who is a liar at the same time. Ironic isn't she?

For the past few years, I've been struggling with this friendship. I was trying too hard to understand and accept the things she does but cannot seem to find the right fit. I'm glad our friendship is over. I am thankful the this bad heart girl is out of my life now, really.

Buy and Sell

Overheard this from a sales counter...

Saleswoman: This shirt is imported from Korea. We have various sizes and colors... (more salestalk followed.)

Buyer1: Is this your largest size? Looks small for me.

Saleswoman: I'm sorry but that is our largest size already.

Buyer2 to Buyer1: Gheez..Already the biggest size. Korea must be a slim country. They don't have fat men. All slim, eh?

Got this quote from an email...

"Doing a good job here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit. You get a warm feeling but no one else notices."

Yeah, that's why I don't usually finish a job well. Nobody notices anyway. :)